Conversations with my Mother…
First, allow me to introduce the participants in said conversation.
Brett – My brother, Corey – Brett’s best friend, Emily – My niece, Kyle – Emily’s boyfriend (He’s from Ireland; which will be an important point for later), Aaron – My husband, Me, and Shelley – My mother
Scene – We’re at a party in a warehouse.
Me – Corey, is Kelly (his girlfriend) a tidier roommate than Brett?
Corey – Oh, no. Definitely not. She’s a collector of… things. She’s basically a hoarder of trinkets and… stuff.
Shelley – Oh! Like Scrotchies! No, scrunchies, crotchies, scorch, scrunch…
We all look at her, puzzled.
Shelley – Kyle! You probably know! I think it’s an English word, like scotchies!
Me – Mom, Kyle isn’t English… he’s from Ireland.
Shelley – Well, it’s practically the same thing!
Me – Except that it’s a different country.
Shelley – It’s like…. CROTCH! (she screams at Aaron while slapping her leg triumphantly). No, that’s not it.
Laughter fills my eyes with tears while my bladder threatens to betray me.
Kyle’s parents are leaving the party so Emily and Shelley go say goodbye to them.
Shelley – I’ll ask them, they’ll probably know!
Emily – Oh please don’t grandma!
After embarrassing Emily, Shelley and Emily join our conversation again.
Shelley – We should just google it. Just google it Aaron.
Aaron – We probably shouldn’t google search crotch…
Corey – Oh God please don’t image search that!
Shelley – No, just do it! Google scrotchie!
Aaron wisely googles synonyms for trinkets.
Aaron – ….you guys aren’t going to believe this. Tchotchke, it’s a word for trinkets.
Shelley – See; crotchskies! (smirking and proud to prove us wrong she gets up and walks away)